Aaj Jaane Ki Zidd Na Karo

Just one text message, three misplaced beautiful words and a sender who was a close friend till then, was enough for my 6 years of building to come crashing down into mud and stones....

The message blew everything away my love, my life, my family, my friends, everyone and everything i called mine 

After getting discharged from  the hospital she  decided to leave me .She had  walked  in my life when my life was rotting in drugs n pulled me out of it and left it to rot again. I had taken a never ending leave drowned in the depth of my sorrow i had stated drinking...not actually started but going by the amount of spirit that entered my body ..may be....with no responsibilities no restriction no deadlines, i was a free soul,i knew that it wasn’t the solution but i was helpless. A month had passed, with no soul being around i longed to hear someone touch, someone listen, to someone to feel.

  Draped in a red saree, she walked in the dark room. Picked up the pillow, pulled the chair up, walked in to my room, went out . picked up the bottles  and stopped.. took a look at our wedding photo turned around stopped again... standing there we looked at each other for ages.. ages passed i got lost in her eyes i saw an emotion so raw, something that said she wanted me and she didn’t. She saw my helpless eyes, i pulled her..... the world melted, life melted the universe seemed to be dripping  down drop by drop, the heavy breath defined me, i breathed her, my hands hit the radio on, we never realised that till a  few words of a song changed my life....aaj jaane ki zid na kaaro.....haaye mar jaaenge, hum toh lut jaaenge aisi baate kiya na karo..... aaj jaane ki zid na karo .I touched her like i hadn’t felt anyone before her, finding n discovering  a new her...a new anita..she went deep into me. our desperation, egos, impatience ,anger, longing ceased. Never had i seen anita so helpless never had i felt anita longing for  me so madly, time stopped moving ,it stopped running, for once in his life he took a time out, leaning against the wall looked at us waqt ki kaiid mein zindagi hai magar, chaand ghadiyan yahi hai jo aazzaad hai inko kho kar mere jaane aan umro bhat na taraste raho.... aaj jaane ki zid naa karo.......We  never spoke a word but we said a lot, we didnt wake up but never slept..we never slept...but it wasn’t  real...it wasn’t real but wasn’t a dream ....kitna massom rangin hai yeh samah ..husn aur isq ka yeh mehraj hai..kal ki kisko khabar  jaane jaaaann.. rok lo aaj ki raat ko  ... aaj jaane ki zid na karo...aaj jaane ki zid na karo...

It was already morning ,the last time i had checked it was 11PM the sun had tiptoed in to give the night some rest..n we...we  were still there, lying, silent with no thread obstructing  our passion, thoughts emotions.. lying but not asleep. As i woke up n sat she held my hands her nails piercing my flesh i saw the helplessness in her ,the lonliness in her eyes, the longing for me..her longing for me, my love, my affection which i had snatched away from her since the last year......tumhi socho jaara...  kyun na rokeein tumhe, jaan jaati hai jab uth ke jaate ho tum,jaan  jaati  jaati hai jab uth ke jaate  ho tum, tumko apni kasam jaane jaaan......  baat  itni meri maan lo.... aaj jaane ki zid na karo..... yuhin hi pehlu mein baithe raho...... aaj jaane ki zid na karo