Sudden silence: A bit more: "A bit more A bit more sleep, a bit more of time in the Shower, bit more of time ..... bit more of solitude, bit more of tears,a bit more......."
In life, there’s always something, that we would never value, in spite of being well aware of this realization......... we still tend to ignore it. My life seemed to have plunged into some kind of nothingness, a lull period, a period where nothing substantial used to happen, no big fights with Anita, no real arguments, no big smiles, i thought she knew about my affair and she was at ease with it. On the other hand kavya, the girl from my workplace, had created an amazing maze around me no matter what work i started upon it always ended in calling her up to my cabin for some kind of work and then spending the rest of the day with her. An interesting aspect of working with an ngo is that it has a completely different work atmosphere. Here when a guy talks with a female employee even for hours, it won’t ignite any kind of office gossips that normally happens in any 9 to 5 glassed cages. Yes, this is what i thought about my Ex employers, they were animal...
Sometimes it seems our brain is the most adamant and lazy viewer, all it wants is entertainment, , all it wants is spice in what he sees and thus muddles up our preconceived notions to just abstract ideas ,our principles to lame thoughts and promises to words uttered in plain aggression . At my teenage marriage was something that brings a new girl to your home, as life progressed it seemed as a way produce babies,a passport to get laid, soon a new word got added to the list RESPONSIBILITY, that changed the whole dimension to my definition of marriage. Suddenly i was swaying away from marriage. I saw a helpless part in every women i met a part that would drag me to my basics, clip my wings ,cut down my new found freedom , freedom from obligations to my parents ,freedom from pretending to be an ideal teenager. At no cost i wanted to lose that, at no cost i wanted to sit down make a budget for my spending for the next month, count eve...
Life is strange; many great philosophers might have said that before me, many actors might have used the same line but still this line has got an aura of its own, a weird magic in its letters that makes it so apt to describe the tale of one’s busted ass in the least possible words.................... Anita, my wife, had multiple bone fractures along with blood clotting in several organs. Miraculously, she had hopes of surviving, hopes of allowing yet another bunch air inside inside her. Bit later even that bit of strength eluded her body and she was put on ventilators. After a while, the doc called me to tell "your wife is out of danger”. I busted into tears. That was the only moment in my life when i was HAPPY; n i meant every letter of that word, every dot that made up those letters. Although i was bit annoyed with the choice of words the doc used, I mean, she just survived the most fatal accident what else he wanted brains coming out and hanging by nerves!!!...
Wanting for that 'bit more' will always be there and that is what makes us strive for it and keeps us going.
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