why not give it a try......

Sometimes it seems  our brain is the most adamant and lazy viewer, all it wants is entertainment, , all it wants is spice in what he sees and thus muddles up our preconceived notions to just abstract ideas ,our principles to lame thoughts and promises to words uttered in plain aggression . At my teenage marriage was something that  brings a new girl to your home, as life progressed it seemed as a way produce babies,a passport to get laid, soon a new word got added to the list RESPONSIBILITY, that  changed the whole dimension  to my definition of  marriage. Suddenly i was swaying away from marriage. I saw a helpless part in every women i met a part that would drag  me to my basics, clip my wings ,cut down my new found freedom , freedom from obligations to my parents ,freedom from pretending to be an ideal teenager. At no cost i wanted to lose that, at no cost  i wanted to sit down make a budget for my spending  for the next month, count every penny i spent, analyze   hundred factors before buying.

But  as i said mind is the most restless creature, it got bored seeing  my colleagues getting married a small seed of likeness towards marriage  got sowed in my mind, i thought why not give it a try.

This was the second time in my 32 years of my life i had this feeling, the first time i had it i ended up falling in a wrong relationship with a wrong girl and subsequently screwing my life big time.

I thought to give it a second try, i ended up marrying  a girl just for the sake of tasting what actually  the taste of marriage.

 At that point of time i was an assistant manager in a well established ad agency. After few  years of my marriage i thought quitting my company and work for an ngo. I always wanted to earn doing some unselfish job. But more importantly i had  ego clashes with my boss.  

 The low paycheque was always an open invitation to fierce arguments, no conversation period. She came all out at me trying every possible ways to sway me back to my earlier job. Initially it seemed easy i always knew i never wanted to work there for rest of my life i always thought it would be just a matter of days before  i landed up in a more lucrative job. But sadly the first part didn’t seem to go right. Increasingly i felt more involved in it, i felt much needed here .A feeling that led to more fights more arguments, i started cursing my why not give it a try feeling. Soon the fights went unnoticed,arguements unattended,the no conversation periods passed off quite comfortably, i just wishthe reason would had been something like "i got used to it" or something like "i changed"

But sadly it was the same old bloody line that "why not give it a try".i had just entered in another shithole, another girl, another relationship just with an extra maritial added to it..........